Project 1 Update

I have never met a stranger. At least that's what a friend of mine said to me once, and it is because of this that my first project just sort of happened naturally. Turns out I get life stories from strangers all the time. So when I found myself at that Inn & Out last week chatting it up with a family of four it was as if I had known them for years.

I realized after my second day that talking to strangers was in fact second nature. I heard stories from a young bank teller while standing in line to cash a check, a woman reading a book at the pool, a cute blond guy visiting from New Hampshire, and a karaoke DJ at my best friend's bar. Some of these people told me stories forwardly, like the banker who's fiance has great taste and who picked the ring without any consultation and isn't it amazing? She was very sweet. While others told me their stories with fewer words and more action - take for example the karaoke DJ with a huge chip on his shoulder (not an opinion, just a solid fact) who played only Red Hot Chili Peppers Songs and sang his own balled every other song.

I spent my first year of grad school trying to talk less and listen more. This is why Project 1 was so perfect - it was about taking what I learned and putting it into action. This week was also about improving my listening skills with the people I already have relationships with... especially those who I'm just getting to know. Additionally, I spent a lot of time thinking about my past interactions with strangers and I realized that I seriously try to have a conversation with everyone I meet - bus drivers, customer service agents over the phone, randoms on the BART. It's kind of out of control and I'd be lying if I told you that this didn't bother some of my significant others in the past. I mean, I guess I can see how this could potentially become obnoxious, but I never intended for it to be that way. In my defense my parents do the exact same thing - exercise that same charm and desire to make strangers smile, and I must confess that as a child I was embarrassed by these "performances" - as that was exactly how I perceived it, as a desire for attention.

I'll be the first one to admit that I love attention, but I also really like making someones day. Sure, that doesn't always happen. Some people aren't looking for that at that specific moment, but some need it. I suppose that what I'm trying to say is that talking to strangers could sincerely change their entire mindset, perhaps for that second, maybe for the day, and who knows, maybe their whole life. Without knowing it, a conversation that my good friend had with a stranger in Thailand changed my life. And I know it changed hers.

That said, I want you to remember this:

Don't walk with your head down. Forget the polite "hi", "please" and "thank you." Ask questions, take a few minutes to slow down and listen, and, most importantly, learn to appreciate the notion that every single person has something amazing to offer. Including you.