Project 2 Update

Sometimes life gives you lemons.

This week was all about challenging myself physically and it started off well and good with some WASP-like tennis activities, but took a strange turn early in the week. My intention was to spend a few days in SLO and push myself to destroy the 'Tri-Tip Challenge.'

But I didn't do it. I didn't even go to SLO. And do you know why? Because I couldn't afford it.

I'm not very good at thinking before I spend... or thinking before I speak for that matter! Because of this I have had an incredibly frugal summer. I could write books on how to live for free that's how much of an expert I've become. So I suppose some good came of this poverty but as of now its just a small light at the end of a very long, unfortunate tunnel.

After having a very stressful conversation with my father about the fact that I couldn't really even afford to drive back to Oakland from SoCal, I had to do some thinking. I thought about this project and how I wouldn't truly be able to achieve it without my SLO stop. I thought about my friends and former life that I hadn't been able to visit in 3 months. But mostly I thought about how it just wasn't possible.

So, great, now I've already failed at doing something new and it's only my second week. Way to go turbo!

But then I realized that I had challenged myself more and grown more in a week than I ever would have by hiking up those mountains. I learned responsibility. And I know what you're thinking! "Yeah, right, AK. This is just a blip on the radar... how was not going to SLO really a challenge?" Wellll smart ass, for those of you who know me you are aware that 1) SLO is my life and 2) money gives me enormous amounts of anxiety and for me to make the decision to go back to Oakland and not spend money that I did not have was just damn right adult of me.

And as my ex-girlfriends will tell you, that is a rare moment!

Sometimes we just can't do it. I have been so fortunate to surround myself with such amazing, high achieving, and giving people and I have noticed how exhausted and stretched thin they can get because they are always saying, 'yes.' I think that what I've learned this week is that it's okay to say, 'not this time.' Now, be not mistaken, this is not an advocacy campaign for being a jerk - this is my realization that I am allowed and capable of doing what's right for me even if it means missing out on some things or readjusting a weekly goal.

This reminds me of a motto that a good friend of mine has been using lately, which is to follow your gut. Ultimately, we know what's right. We know what's good for us.

We don't always have to use those lemons; sometimes it's okay to wait for the next round.